nazipervert:

happy easter/hitler’s birthday/420

(via justanotherfaggot)

Timestamp: 1398025371

 

nazipervert:

happy easter/hitler’s birthday/420

(via justanotherfaggot)

anonymous asked  pippin or next to normal

(via titleofurl)

Timestamp: 1398024910

anonymous asked  pippin or next to normal

(via titleofurl)

our-greater-perhaps:

THIS WAS MY FAVORITE SCENE FROM THE ENTIRE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS TV SERIES

(Source: poisonseaurchins, via ruinedchildhood)

Timestamp: 1398024500

our-greater-perhaps:

THIS WAS MY FAVORITE SCENE FROM THE ENTIRE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS TV SERIES

(Source: poisonseaurchins, via ruinedchildhood)

Anonymous:
How long is your penis in millimeters please

Ill get some measuring tape and get back to you

Anonymous:
Do you have a girl of interest

Yess

Im really fucking horny

I really just want to grab your butt, is that too much to ask for?

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN

  • finding someone aesthetically pleasing
  • being sexually attracted to someone
  • being romantically attracted to someone

(Source: wsswatson, via fangirlsjustwannahavefun)

Anonymous:
Ok, so the very first time I gave my boyfriend a handjob, it took an entire hour to get him off. I guess it took a long time for me to get the hang of it, but finally I was making progress, and he was all like "I'm coming!" and shit. And I'm like, "thank the lord, my hand is about to fall off, we're prepared, we've got the towel ready, whatever." But here's the thing: when it finally happened, the semen shot a good 4 feet in the air. It was the most hilarious thing I have ever witnessed.

That is no lie one of the best things I have ever heard, thank you for that :D 

"

HOW TO STAY IN LOVE:

1. Tell your partner that you love them every day. You are not only reminding them, you are primarily reminding yourself. They say that the people who say ‘I love you’ the most are the happiest. And they’re right. Get creative: find more ways to say it. I love you. Je t’aime. Te amo. My love. My one and only. Love you. Te quiero.

2. Don’t forget to have more low-key dates now and then. Sure, going to a fancy hotel restaurant is nice, but the next day you might be aware of all the crystals missing from your chandelier. There’s a certain comfort in picking up your loved one from the airport or eating at a nearby food court. It’s like saying, ‘Hey, you turn a regular experience in to an exciting one. With you, there’s no such thing as unhappy.’

3. The best moment to consolidate your relationship is when our loved one is going through a difficult time. For some, that is a time of high tension, but it really doesn’t have to be. When your partner is down, you learn to make their life brighter from the inside instead of trying to change external factors. You can’t control the fact that they got fired from their job or that their uncle passed away—but you can control what you bring to their life. What better excuse to be a bundle of sunshine?

4. Make cheating as unthinkable as incest. If you are truly in love, you will not be able to kiss someone else without tasting your loved one’s tears as they stain your lips. You will not be able to take your clothes off with someone else without feeling like a field ripped bare to its soil. Make cheating a dealbreaker for you and assume that it is for your partner too.

5. Make their desires your own. If they want to go to college in a different state, don’t sabotage them. If they fantasize about you in a certain way, turn their desires to reality. If they like how you look in a dress and you prefer jeans, wear dresses more often. You don’t have to change yourself in order to make compromises. You don’t have to lose yourself while trying to find your loved one.

6. See their side of the story. Even if it’s 2 a.m. and they’re accusing you of things you never thought you were capable of doing, sit quiet for a moment and listen to what they’re actually saying. Let go of your defensive wall and think about the impact your actions has on your loved one. Always empathize.

7. Give your loved one random presents. If you’re going to the mall, pick up a flirty gift. If you’re on vacation, buy them a souvenir that means something to them. If you’re going to Starbucks, order their favorite drink. Little gestures go a long way.

8. Dream about the future—but realistically. Don’t tell your loved one you can’t wait to get married after five months, but give them hints that you’re committed. Examples can be making plans for your anniversary, preparing surprises for Valentine’s Day, and letting them know you want to go to the next step. ‘I know we’ve slept together, but you’ve never stayed the night. I’d like to try that.’ It’s not about going fast—it’s about going slow but doing so with passion.

9. Spice things up constantly. Keep both yourself and your partner on your tiptoes by going to new places, trying new positions, changing up your dynamics, using new idioms, etc. Put the two of you in new territory so that you can feel like you’re always learning something new about each other. This way, it will be difficult to ever feel like strangers, because you will have gotten accustomed to watching each other grow, change, and be exposed to new situations.

10. Get to know where they come from. It’s useless trying to love someone without considering their family, background, and past experiences. Slowly break away any boundaries between the two of you and let yourself see even the ugliest parts of your loved one. A realistic relationship is almost guaranteed to function while a superficial one isn’t. You can’t love someone independently of their environment.

"

roselastrider:

>gettin hot and heavy w/ a girl

>she then tells me to talk dirty

>tell her that 10% of the world’s carbon dioxide emissions are stored in dirt

>she’s still turned on and now she knows a little more about mother earth

>copulate and educate

(via flrebender)

chuckesunderground:

My army is ready…

(via miranduh-cosgrove)

Send me things

Questions, personal stories, sexcapades, anything at all :)

(Source: redreznikv, via theatregeek96)